Watching From Afar
by blueroseulan
Summary: Yeah right…whatever you say jouchan…I’ll take everything you say and hopefully, someday, you’ll realize just how much your baka tori atama loves you One sided SanoKaoru, more of KnK slight SanoMeg


October 18, 2006

Standard Disclaimers Apply! RK doesn't belong to me! I'm just a poor writer who's fallen in love with KnK!

A/N: I really love KnK but when I was watching the series where the group helps save Megumi and Sano snaps at her for not having trusted Kaoru enough, an eensie weensie idea formed in my mind XD oh well, I have to warn you though, this is not for Sano/Meg lovers or Sano/Kaoru fans. So there.

Please review! Please review!

"_Do not belittle Kaoru. She's an amazing woman inside and out and she's the kindest person we've ever known!"_

My words echo at the back of my mind as I stare at the dark starry sky. It had well been over 4 years since that fateful day Kaoru and Megumi met at the Kamiya dojo but I had never once forgotten what I said about her.

"_Jou-chan…_" The endearment I gave her found its way on my lips and I had to smile. Every time I say her name, I can't help but feel enlightened, protected and saved. Strange for it was always the other way around, with she being protected and taken cared of…But what can I say? She really is my light, my salvation and perhaps my angel too...for had it not been for her, my life would never have been the same. I would still be roaming the streets of Japan as a fighter for hire, with no goal nor dream in heart, with no family and friends to love and be with it.

Years ago, loneliness would plague me, desolation quick to settle in my heart for I had no one to turn to, and no one to talk to.

She offered me everything that I needed.

She had always been like a little sister to me. And I had always stayed protective over her. Though it would kill me to tell her all these things, in truth, I realized that it was in protecting her that I forgot to protect my own heart.

I never thought it would happen—probably because everyone knew who was paired with whom. It was always Kenshin-Kaoru Sanosuke-Megumi. That had always been the way of things in the Kamiya dojo. I guess I never retaliated because I never expected my feelings to shift as surprisingly as it did.

"Sanosuke, daijobou ka na?"

Her soft voice haunts my soul, visits my every dreams and as I look up to meet her lovely sapphire eyes, I feel something tug inside me.

"'Course I am." I answer in my gruff tone, crossing my arms over my chest and chewing on my dangling fishbone as I always do.

"Alright". Cheesy as it may sound, but the smile on her lips blows me away and as she nods and slowly goes inside, I can't help but follow her form with my gaze.

She always worried. I never knew if it really was in her nature or if it was just an old habit formed because of our dangerous lifestyle over the past years. All I know is that she'd always find time to ask—not meddle—but at least try to know what was wrong. Whether it was from injuries sustained from battles or a matter that you desperately tried to conceal from everyone, Kaoru had a way of hers that enabled her to heal anything and anyone.

I hear the gate open and at the corner of my eye I see Kenshin silently enter. And then I see her once again, this time, a relieved smile painted on her lips as she rushes to greet him.

I try not to flinch when he slips his arm around her slim waist in an endearing and protective manner as she happily wraps her arms around his neck.

I know it is wrong—know it is improper to fall for somebody who's already fallen in love with somebody else—moreover if that somebody else is no other than your own best friend. I know the whole notion of me falling in love with her only spelled disaster.

Yeah right, try to lecture me, Sanosuke Sagara with the disasters love could bring.

I shake my head.

I am resigned; resigned to the fact that she will never have it in her heart to love me more than as a friend. She has always loved Kenshin—and she will continue to do so. No matter what happens…

Many a time as I lie restless on my bed at night, I ask myself—what is it in Kenshin that she has grown to love so deeply? What is it that I lack? The world never seems to supply me with answers.

But then again, looking at them, recalling the trials they have shared, their lives already entwined with the other, I realize—that it is not as if I lack something—it is not as if Kenshin is a better man than I am but rather… they have faced so much, seen so much and experienced so much as a couple that I have never and probably will never feel with another. Kenshin was her life, the one person who could keep her smiling amidst difficulties. The others told me that she instantly fell to depression when he left her for Kyoto….. But similarly, she was also his light, his angel and his happiness; as much as he preserved her existence, she also kept him from slipping to the chains of death and insanity. She was the key that kept his being alive, his reason to continue on living. I'll never forget his reaction when we found the bloody Kaoru-doll Enishi had been sick enough to create. How fast he succumbed to darkness and depression. No one could pull him out from the depths of his despair—no one but her.

"Hora…there you are…" I hear another familiar voice and this time, I know its Megumi's

"Hey." I mutter quietly, not directly looking at her.

"I've been looking for you. Do you mind if I sit beside you?" she asks.

I shake my head, knowing that if I denied her she would be hurt and would take it as a sign of rejection.

She sighs. "What are you thinking about?" I try not to feel a little annoyed with her persistency to start a conversation. As much as I like her around, I would have appreciated my own company more.

"Nothin.." I mutter from under my breath and look away.

Megumi Takani, Another one of the most prominent ladies in my life.

I had already forgotten the time when people started to link me to her, to think that we were already a pair but only one thing is clear to me—I do not really love her so. She is dear to me—yes, I will die to protect her—but I do not have any romantic notion when it comes to her. She is just a friend and nothing more.

Her own feelings towards me—that I do not know. At one point I knew she felt something for Kenshin, knew she too, had fallen in love with the red haired swordsman. But I also knew she had given up her love for him when the ex assassin admitted his feelings for the beautiful kendo instructor.

Does she love me now? Or does she look at me in a way that I see her too? I don't know… Maybe I don't ever want to know… For the moment I am content with the ground where we stand—Let the people think we are in love with the other—it serves to mask the true feelings we have deep inside.

"Hey you two lovebirds, come inside and dinner is ready!" I hear a low chuckle and I realize that Kenshin and Kaoru have been standing at the front porch, watching us two seated on the area with smiles on their faces.

I shake my head and smirk. "Lovebirds? You call us lovebirds? Then what do you call yourselves?!" She frowns and Kenshin just shrugs nonchalantly.

"Whatever baka tori atama…" she mutters in an unlady-like manner and I had to laugh.

Yeah right…whatever you say jou-chan…_I'll take everything you say and hopefully, someday, you'll realize just how much your baka tori atama loves you so…nandemo...watashi no koi…_

OWARI

_Helpful translations:_

_Jou-chan This is Sano's special nickname for Kaoru that roughly translates to 'Little Missy'_

_Daijobou ka na Are you alright?_

_HoraLook, Hey,_

_Tori-atama Kaoru's nickname for Sano that means bird head_

_Nandemowhatever_

_Watashi no koi my beloved._

Now everybody say..AWWWWWWWW..poor Sano, he never did get any of the ladies in the end. I just thought of experimenting with his feelings when it came to his own 'jou-chan'. It really must have hurt him if he had truly fallen in love with Kaoru ne?

Oh well, now if you would please push the review button…

¬Ena


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